He never lets go!

I went home this weekend because I wanted to see Daddy before he started chemo Monday(tomorrow). A visit home was very needed, just sitting with my dad while I did homework and he watched football, laughing with him, teasing each other and just being in the same room. It was very tough to come back to school, leaving behind the image of my dad as I have always known him, I am just afraid the next time I see him he will look different because of the chemo. If you know me well (mother), you know I HATE change of any sort so I know it will be rough on me. Luckily I came back to friends who love me so well so so well, they know just how to make me smile, whether they are aware of it or not, God has given them the ability to love me just how I need it. I also know that they are willing and wanting to learn more about how to be there for me during this (right kaseface ;) we had a great pillow talk one night!). You guys know who you are and you make me laugh way too hard, tease me, distract me with your humor and ridiculous stories-I could not have gotten better sisters.

Anyways, some good God time during my drives back and forth and here is what i would like to write about it....

1)On Wednesday at practice Coach reminded the team to pray for daddy and my teammates mom. He also mentioned that he had talked to my dad the night before, and that my dad had expressed to him that he was in good spirits, but he was more concerned about his family. Well I was fine before that, ready for my tough workout, but that just got me I was so touched by my dad's selflessness and I just felt so loved at that moment by him and so thankful that I have such a solid dad. Tears came though I tried to hide them, luckily I had a good friend next to me who gave a smile and pat on the back and that was all I needed to get back on my feet. God's love is present in even the smallest of actions.

2)In chapel Friday, we sang Mighty to Save, and one line really tugged at my heart "shine your light and let the whole world see, we're singing for the glory of the risen King". That is a new prayer of mine, that through all the the world can see Jesus, that we can be lights for Him through this with every action and with the trust we enable to Him.

3)Ok and this next point is really embarrassing to write/semi juvenile, but whatever it is a big lesson I am learning to be content with and saying it out loud to whoever is actually reading this is good for me. One thing I realized on my drive home, is why I am single. For those of you reading this who know my lovelife, well it has been completely non-existent through college, and at a small christian college that is sometimes hard to deal with because of the whole pressure for a "ring by spring" plus everyone around you getting engaged as a senior. I am going to be very self-centered right now and state; shoot lets be honest I am a catch! So it has been a question I ask God every now and then wondering why I have had no interest in me from boys during college? WELLLL, driving does well for my thoughts, because...God wants me to learn these things alone, to experience what He is trying to teach me through this stuff for myself. So, when I do meet someone I am wiser, with my head on straight, priorities in line. I very much get annoyed with immature relationships filled with drama, always wondering if he is "just not that into me"; and I feel like with these things I am learning that any relationship I have will be much more mature because of how quickly I am finding myself maturing spiritually. This is hard to explain in words, but I swear it makes sense in my head, and the bottom line is I am happy and accepting that I am single through this and I know it is right. However, if I meet someone who matches all my (and my parents) criteria I am a woman and have the right to change my mind ;)

4) On the drive back to school Matt Redman's version of "You Never Let Go" came on, and boy oh boy was I praising God, (while driving very safely mother). Listen to it, it gives amazing comfort with the simplest of words.

So my heart is still holding on, clinging to my God because I know He aint never gona let go of me, taytay, mommy, and especially daddy.

*Daddy starts chemo Monday please pray it doesnt make him too sick, and that he can regain some strength in his legs. (I am selfishly hoping he feels well enough to come to my first track meet of the year Feb 6).

God will be glorified through this, some days are harded to trust Him than others and that is when why we need you guys to pray for us.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
Your perfect love is casting out fear
And even when I’m caught in the middle of the storms of this life
I won’t turn back
I know You are near

And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?

Chorus:
Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me

And I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
We’ll live to know You here on the earth

Yes, I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
Still I will praise You, still I will praise You