Tonight was a pretty sad scene in the Hoch household...I've been sick with a cold/cough/throat/nose thing for at least a week (really I have no right to complain as you read the next two descriptions), Dad had chemo 2 days ago so he is experiencing the worst of his side effects right now, and Mom has a certain medical procedure in the morning-my Mom WILL kill me if she reads this but lets just say the bathrooms are rather occupied tonight...
Here I am babysitting Zoe and making sure not to make any noise and to keep the house clean as possible so no one gets irritated or has to work harder than they should. It is a scary look into the future, someday MY parents will be as old as my grandparents God-willing, it is a look into the fragility of everything, and the fact that as much as I hate it, everyday is another day of getting older.
I miss the days of being taken care of; my Dad running around being silly with me, seeing him come home from refereeing a basketball game, having him drive down to SB and back in one day to spend just a few hours with me, jumping on his back, thinking he was the strongest man alive for making a million trips up the flights of stairs to my sixth floor dorm in san diego on a 100degree day, driving 9hours down to san diego to move me out after freshman year and ending the night with ice cream and praying for my time coming up at woodleaf and westmont.
Dad still is the most selfless and prayer-concious person I know, and the most devoted father/husband/friend I know...it just comes out in different ways, ways that are not quite as grand-gestured, but the underlying point is still there-he is committed to me and God and pushing me towards BIG dreams that God has for me. Dad doesn't ref anymore, mom will usually drive the long distances, thanks to p90x I think I am stronger than Dad now (well, most of the time, the man has a crazy golgi-tendon effect I'm sure). But, there are new ways he shows his selflessness and best-dad-in-the-world title...wanting to hear all about everything in my life when I plop down on the couch next to him, asking what he can pray for and doing it right then, writing me the most encouraging emails when I am having a rough day, writing the most encouraging cards for special events or life in general that move me to tears and make me believe I am superwoman-all because he thinks I am superwoman, teaching me everything I need to know about money and bills and annoying things I don't like to understand. Most of this happens on our beige leather couch downstairs, it is a very soft couch, you just kind of sink into it-it has saved a safe spot in it for Dad to read, journal, pray, and nap everyday. It has also created a safe spot for me to chat with my Daddy, and to have him poor into me like he always has.
Even on those days Dad is weakest or sickest he still cares for me and tells me goodnight and whispers an "I love you beautiful girl" to me and my Mom. I know his secret, besides the comfy couch, it is Jesus.
Jesus said "Even when you are old, I will be the same. Even when your hair has turned gray, I will take care of you. I made you and will take care of you. I will carry you and save you". (Isaiah 46:4)
So on those days that the people who love me most and take care of me more than any earthly person ever could (my parents), are down for the count and go to bed hours before me and are more friendly with the heating pad than with me-I know Jesus is taking care of me, and of them, and of Taylor up serving at Young Life camp.
So for tonight, it is me, Jesus, and Zoe. Zoe has been snoring for 30minutes, so I guess tonight, it is me and Jesus.
And NO ONE tell my mother of this post, she would be humiliated by the bathroom reference-whatever, everyone knows of my bathroom issues while running. #RunnersTrots #I'mHuman #SoAreYouMom
