Well I was working through my coaching certification test, then the Internet failed on me, and after multiple tries I decided it was a shove from God to go take a breather for the first time this week and spend some time reading and pondering His greatness.
So I read, and I thought about this past week, which has been a whirlwind of the marathon, driving back home, figuring out grad school and meeting with advisors, working on coaching stuff, meeting my xc team, running errands for camp, organizing and moving back into my room, and plenty of other little details.
It is weird to be back home, somewhere I so wanted to escape from 4 years ago due to several reasons. Now I am living in my old room, coaching at the high school I could not run fast enough away from, and spending my summer, fall, and basically an indefinite amount of time as long as I want the job, working with the age of kids where I was a total mess. Oh and did I mention I am going to grad school at a school I said I would never go to because it is too close to home? Never in a million years would I think this is where I would be post-grad. I feel very very very humbled right now, my plans are again not what God has planned-just shows you to never get comfortable. And another thing, the past 2 years my expectation for myself was to qualify for the marathon for NAIA nationals with Westmont, but due to a stress fracture the first time and then my stress level with dad the second time, it was to no avail. But…then here I am being talked into the SD rock and roll marathon with my brother, and I qualify for Boston with 12 minutes to spare, and have one of the funnest races of my whole career! Ok I have tears of joy being brought to my face right now, gonna be honest.
After I met my team yesterday I chatted with my high school coach, just a great guy, wise, cheesy, deep-your basic English teacher (think robin Williams from dead poets society). I feel so inadequate to replace the legend he is on Leigh’s campus, but he taught me so much in my time there I only hope I can put it all into practice. We were just catching up, I was telling him of all my plans for the summer/fall with camp, school, marathons etc. He was in awe of how much my life is falling into place, so in response to that and his recent destiny-drawn wedding, “see, good things come when your heart is in the right place.” I guess they do coach, they so so do. I think I have finally stopped fighting and just let life spin on as God wills. It is a whole heck of a lot easier this way. I left my high school campus feeling triumphant (cannot remember the last time I left it feeling that way) and hopeful that it no longer holds a bitter spot in my heart of what it used to be and who I used to be-but rather, this time it is a new blank page, ready for new memories to be written with these awesome kids I get to share my passion for running with. My heart is in a better place now, and with it, my high school.
But here is my question to God…is He giving me all these blessings because of the painful, disappointing situation with my Dad (add another thing to list of “never thought”)?? Is he giving me these stable situations to lessen the stress facing me in life right now? I don’t have to worry about employment, school and all that comes with those, for 2 years. Really, all I have to worry about now is Dad-ok and a few more things, like finding a guy so when people ask me I can say no I am not single (yes I have already been asked by adults 3 times in 5 days thank you, dear lord people ask me something more substantial!) But, right now Dad is doing great, I mean he is outside building a fence, planning a party, and giving the dogs baths as usual, so lets get an amen for all the prayers answered.
So in all this rambling, moral of Kaelas busy week traveling through memory lane-stop fighting God, just let whatever is going to happen, happen. It is going to happen no matter what, and the sooner you let go, the easier it will be and the sooner you will receive the blessing and joy (even if it takes some tears or frustration first).
Oh, and for further notice if I ever say there is no way I am doing something or going somewhere or “that would never happen to me”-let’s face it, God’s taking me there haha…
AND, God gives and takes away. He gave me all these opportunities these next couple years to take away from my stress level.
A couple quotes from reading time tonight…
“Do not worry about why problems exist in the world-just respond to people’s needs”(Mother Teresa).
“God, in His wisdom, puts it all together. He knows that no one person can cover the whole situation so he inspires certain people to work in certain areas and others to work in others”(Mother Teresa).
This is probably my last post for a while unless I get a chance over the summer to form some thoughts, I know I am going to be taught a whole heck of a lot this summer, so that will just have to be its whole separate chapter in this book ;)
Please pray for the words to say to the girls in my cabins, energy to keep up with camp, and the love to share with everyone on staff.
